Posted By Trisha
Who am I when the titles are gone?
“Who am I?” This sounds like a simple question, but it’s got a complicated answer. People tend to identify themselves by the roles they play in society or the qualifications they have, but what happens when you lose your job, title, or your status? How do you answer this question in that case? This is something I struggled with for a while after I left my job. Before I had found other things to do to earn an income, I would avoid meeting new people because the general question we get asked in new interactions is “what do you do for a living?” I was so ashamed to say that I was unemployed because that made me feel like I was less of a person and that people would lose interest in continuing a conversation with me. It took me a long time to make peace with and own my reality, and realize that I wasn’t defined by the work that I do, or the title that comes with it, but rather by my purpose and authenticity.
I studied and worked really hard to “climb the corporate ladder,” and my position title meant everything to me, so when I left my job and struggled to find another, I had to find odd jobs here and there to make money, and the roles I occupied and the income I earned were a huge downgrade from where I was. My ego took a huge knock because of this, and I questioned everything about myself. I didn’t work this hard just to move backwards in life! After a year and a half of receiving rejection after rejection, I realized that there was something deeper I was supposed to learn from this…CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE! I decided to no longer feel sorry for myself but reflect back and think of all the things I had learned from everything I was going through. In spite of my situation, I still found a way to provide for myself, I became resilient, and I grew tremendously as a person. I became so much more grateful for the small things in life and decided to turn what I thought was a negative situation into a positive one.
How Do You Change Your Perspective of a Negative Situation?
Through changing the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Here are a few ways you can change your perspective on a negative situation:
Identify your negative thoughts
When you catch yourself in the moment of a negative thought, take a moment to stop, analyze and replace the negative thought with a positive one. It might be difficult, but there is often something positive we can find in a negative situation.
Use a Thought Diary
Write down your negative thought patterns and reflect on how they impact your emotions and behaviors. How we think affects how we feel, and in turn, how we behave. Identifying the negative thoughts at the source gives us the opportunity to change the entire ripple effect.
Avoid thinking about how things “should” be
When you lock yourself inside a dream of what you think your life should be like, you limit yourself and create a lot of suffering and anxiety for yourself.
Think of things that you are grateful for
When you wake up in the morning or before you go to bed at night, think of 3-5 things that you are grateful for. When we learn to appreciate the good things in our lives, we tend to focus less on the bad, and in so doing, make space for more good things.
Stop comparing yourself to others
We live in an age where social media—Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, etc.—gives people the tools and platform to create illusions of a perfect life, and we judge ourselves because we feel our lives don’t measure up to theirs.
There is nothing wrong with feeling like you are moving backward in life, but when you feel like this, it’s important to take a step back and re-navigate to find a new path that is best for you.
